For my unmarried, younger friends who feel they might be in love . . .
A few days ago, I mentioned that I was reading through my diaries with my husband, and they were super funny. My husband and I were hooting with laughter over some of the entries. One particularly funny story was about my preteen self having an argument with my parents over how to make a correct peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and I was writing about it like it was the literal end of the world!
It was also very sweet to watch myself, as I turned the pages of my diary, fall in love with my husband. Oh, and did I mention that I was 16 at that time? Wait! I thought that teenagers were only capable of puppy love that flits from crush to crush with no sense of deep feeling or devotion. A teenager’s crush can not last! They are still growing themselves. They don’t even know who they are yet! How can they know what they want in a life long partner? Teenagers are meant to date around and have fun. How can they actually fall in love?
1 Timothy 4:12 Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.
Many of the Godly married couples, whom my husband and I admire today, fell in love in their teenage years and got married in their 20’s. I got married at age twenty four, and during my engagement, a lady that I work with was encouraging me to wait longer. “Blush, you don’t really even know who you are yet” she told me. I had many other people telling me that I was way too young to be getting married. I felt as if they were “looking down” on me because I was young. Your numerical age is just the amount of years you’ve been on this earth, but it has little to do with your maturity level or your relationship with God. When older people scoff at your sixteen year old crush, don’t fight them about it, but also, don’t you start regarding yourself as a silly sixteen year old with an unimportant crush. You’re not. Not every crush leads to the discovery of your soul mate, in fact most of them don’t. Out of all the people that your heart is inclined towards during your life, only ONE of them will be your marriage partner. This does not mean that you can act foolishly. No matter your age, you should treat your crushes carefully and prayerfully.
Perfect One Before I even met my now husband, I had a crush that I was falling hard for. He was Godly and always wanted to have Bible studies with me. He would wink at me and treat me special, and I just KNEW he was the one. One day, I found him sitting by himself outside, and he seemed upset. I walked over and stood beside him as he sat on the ground. I asked him what was wrong, and he looked up at me and said, “here, sit next to me” as he patted the ground next to him. I cannot exactly explain what happened except that I felt God say, “no.” I wanted to sit down with every ounce of my being, but God said, “no.” My knees were about to revolt into a bend anyway as my heart begged to sit next to the man of my dreams, but I stayed in the standing position because God said, “no.” Later that year, he stopped winking at me or having Bible studies. I felt heart broken, but I knew that God said, “no.” No matter how perfect that girl or guy may seem, if God says, “no” that means there is somebody more perfect out there. Don’t settle for your idea of perfect. Listen to God.
Perfect Timing While your crush might actually be “the one,” it may not be God’s timing which is just as important as finding God’s person. When I was sixteen, my now husband had just given his life to the Lord. I was writing in my diary that I liked this new boy in church who had just gotten saved, but I knew that I should wait. It was hard, but I knew that I should not treat it as a “silly crush.” Flirting, dating, and just having fun would have been detrimental to him and most likely our chance at a future relationship. Interestingly enough, my husband had a crush on me at the same exact time! Even though we both liked each other, if it’s not God’s timing, it’s wrong. There is no magic age that God wants you to wait for, but there might be some type of growing or maturing that he is trying to perfect in you (or your crush) before giving you the green light to date. No matter what your parents tell you or your friends tell you, if God is tugging your heart to wait and not start dating, you had better wait – for your own good.
Perfect Love – There is so much to say here that I’m going to save it for another post.
This post is getting a little lengthy. Let me end with this: Please, understand that I am not saying that you will find your one true love at a young age. Many people go on to accomplish great things in the Lord and even earthly accomplishments while they are single, and then they find their true love in their 30’s or 40’s. Some people take a wrong turn somewhere along the way, and it takes a while to get back on God’s path. Remember, God is sovereign, and he has a different plan for each person. Just because you are young now does not mean you should treat your crushes with selfishness and frivolity. Don’t “look down” on yourself. Instead, “set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.”